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    10/20/2009

    where Can I Go?

     
      其实所有人都在生活里挣扎,在生活里勉为其难地继续着,不知道是自己的希望还是他人的期望。
     
      我的年龄不可能回去,生活却都回到了原点,我又像个刚刚毕业的学生,提着两只箱子,没有家,没有前景。
     
      其实真的没有脸面回家,可是我一个人在异地他乡,也没有地方可去。另外,不想让知道事情的父母担心。如果不是怕他们担心,我真的想就这样消失在这个我不知道何去何从的社会里。
     
      在夜里哭泣,一个人躲在宾馆里。没有人安慰,也不值得人安慰,一切都是自作自受。
     
      
      手机里存着无数人的号码,却不知道可以拨给谁。曾经无数次站在公交车站牌后流泪,能在站牌的亚光里模糊看见自己的影子。
     
      我真的不知道为什么这么辛苦地工作,为什么这么隐忍地生活,我总是在别人面前笑啊笑啊笑个没完,我甚至不知道我在笑什么。我已经失去一切,所有的努力都被他人诋毁,所有的隐忍都被他人污蔑。
     
      我就是愚蠢,无能,弱智。想着那些虚伪的面孔,就止不住的颤抖,恶心。
     
      可是,人就是要这么虚伪,就是要这么虚假,不然,为什么笑到最后的都是这些小人,不然,为什么流落街头的会是我呢。
     
     
      当所有的人都不信任你,那么,你做人不是普通的有问题。
     
      太累了。请让我好好休息,就这样睡去,再也不要醒来。

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    康杰 卢wrote:
    毛毛说你回四川去了,才知道你的事,希望你能想得开,未来的日子还很长呢,你什么都好,就是有点倔强、有点要强、有点暴躁、,可以的话,稍微改变一下么
    Nov. 8

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